Just to indicate how dire the situation is - I don't even know what this company does. Are you computing that? I was hired to help them compete in their industry and keep the company functioning at peak performance, and I don't even know what they do!!!! I'm learning the ropes, the terminology and jargon is slightly less greek to me than it was five days ago, but after waking up at 6:30 am, working for 12 hours straight, then stumbling back home around 9 pm, I'm barely able to digest and organize all the information that was thrown at me.
And it's even more than not thinking I can do the job - I don't know as if I want to do the job. Or any job that requires me to stay on top of 20 things at once, work 60+ hours a week, then feel like a zombie when I finally plop my ass on my couch.
This is why nude modeling has all of a sudden become an ideal profession to me.
My body isn't bad. I don't think it's Playboy ready, but I have the goods so that if I wanted to pose for Playboy, all I'd need to do is work out and tone up for a few months, and then Mr. Hefner might seriously consider putting me in his magazine. My boobs are already Playboy ready, not to sound like a raging narcissist, but every guy or girl who ever had the privilege of laying eyes on them has confessed that my breasts are beautiful. And on top of how gorgeous they are, they're natural. The genes I inherited made me struggle with acne (which has cleared up fairly well, BTW), but hey, I got a nice rack. Genes are very give and take.
Nude modeling - or any profession that required one to use their body as an object - always seemed below me. I eschewed the premise of not using my mind to earn a living because being intelligent and knowledgeable is the highest achievement anyone could pursue. Not to mention, intelligence is sustainable, whereas looks are not. It takes a lot of plastic surgery to nude model when you're 40.
But now I feel like a massive moron for not using what God gave me to bank some buck when my body was at the zenith of its suppleness. I have finally come to the conclusion that nude models are the most intelligent people in the world - they are hot AND they are geniuses. They realize that money means the difference between a good life and a bad life, and if you want a good life, why be proud? Why spout off about the integrity of intelligence and the goodness in bettering your mind, why bother to be an intellectual when it doesn't matter AT ALL how smart you are if you're living under an overpass and eating out of dumpsters?
And even beyond being smart - why force yourself to work 60+ hours a week for the good life when all you need do is take your clothes off and earn the same amount?
Well, most nude models probably don't make the same amount of money as say my boss, but they can earn enough to at least live comfortably - and all they have to do is stretch out on crushed velor blankets while naked! Jesus, I'd love to lay naked on crushed velor, but I can't afford crushed velor, and I don't have the time to lay naked on crushed velor! So to imagine doing so while getting paid for it - now that is the good life.
I used to think nude models, porn stars, and strippers were deluded and sad when they'd say things like, "I LOVE what I do for a living. It's the best job in the world!" But now I can see that I always thought like that so I could feel better about the path I chose, the path to be an intellectual instead of an object.
There's gotta be some downsides to earning a living as a sex symbol - I better see some in the comments before I decide to move to Cali and get a job as Maggie Gyllenhaal's titty double.
UPDATE: It is Sunday, and I have spent the past 7.5 hours working on this huge proposal my company has due tomorrow afternoon. And it's my first week. KILL ME PLEASE.
20 comments:
if you want a little luxury, i can lend you my chenille blanket
oh, and btw i agree with you. last thanksgiving i was visiting my dad's side of the family and they were asking what i was up to school/career wise. somebody said, "oh, youre so smart, youre like the smartest person in the family" and i said, "if i was so smart i would have figured out a way to NOT spend tens of thousands of dollars just to make 27 thou a year."
Gldngirl - when I was writing about the crushed velor, all I could think about was "lesbian draped in chenille."
Fantastic idea. Look, make hay while the sun shines! I love your blog and I am dying to see a decent photo of you yet! Give us an idea of what you have to offer! Thanks! xoxo
Anon- I contemplated posting a close-up pic of my a**hole, but I thought that the readers wouldn't be able to tell what it was. Oh well.
And you accused me of needing to be brought back down to Earth.
I was offered a job as a male stripper in Jacksonville, but I turned it down. Mainly because it was in Jacksonville and at a gay bar.
vern - you let ppl suck your dick for money but you wont take your clothes off on stage for it?
It wasn't just taking my clothes off onstage. I'd also have to put my balls in the faces of dudes to Cascada songs for $2. Don't think I'd be too comfortable doing that.
But yes, if you paid me I'd let you suck it.
"I contemplated posting a close-up pic of my a**hole, but I thought that the readers wouldn't be able to tell what it was. Oh well."
Is that offer still on the table?
Vern - are you saying I couldn't pose for Playboy? Hmm, probably not, but would Hustler have me? How about Barely Legal? Could I dance in a ghetto peep show where I let men shove broom handles up my ass? Could I do that?
Anon - umm, did you read my post and gather that I'm looking to make money with my nudity? Because I could set up a paypal account, and if you were to deposit like, $1,000 in it, I would gladly give you a pic of my asshole. Let me know if you're interested.
Your ability to take 5 dicks at a time would surely be wasted by taking a Playboy offer, no?
Vern - 5 dicks? AT THE SAME TIME? I am a woman of many talents, but I don't think any orifice I have could stretch that wide.
let's call it 200, and a shot of you pooping in a dixie cup.
Anon - defecation is a whole other level. But I'm feeling generous, so tell ya what - I'll take a massive dump in your mouth for free. I'll make sure to eat corn five hours beforehand so you can have a little treat.
i would really love a new post sometime soon
Why don't you send her some nude pics to put up, gldngrlomg384
why dont you eat my pussy, vern
As long as you blow me.
Let's see...nude models get paid for doing, pretty much, nothing.
The rest of us get paid for working.
And THEY are the dumb ones?
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