In fact, I'm half-convinced it is about me.But that doesn't make sense. The sender is from Milwaukee; I live in New York (hence, so does my boss). But what if my boss used a fake city just to throw me off?
I am not completing my MBA (um, ever), but what if my boss said that to throw me off too? Because I am looking to expand my horizons, and it explicitly said in the question, "she wants to move out into the business world." My boss knows I'm looking for another job, ergo...
Why does EVERYTHING have to revolve around me? I am getting really sick and tired of being the anonymous feature in advice columns. First my bf asks Eye Weekly about his bukkake fetish, and now this.
The assistant described in the query is me, verbatim (except for all the crazy business aspirations). My office is laid-back - no fancy clothing necessary, so I usually wear jeans, tennis shoes or sandals, no make-up, and 90% of the time my hair is pulled in a loose knot on the back of my head. Though I shower every morning, sometimes I won't wash my hair, and it can get greasy, I guess...and I've been lazy and haven't painted my nails or toenails. Ugh, I'm disgusting, no wonder my boss wrote in asking about my appearance! I don't know how I can expect her to work when my cracked, brittle feet are in her sightline.
Ok, so maybe it wasn't my boss who sent in this question. Nonethless, I've started straightening my hair every night to ensure it is straight and luxurious for work. And I'm only wearing tennies until my toenails grow out and I paint them a bright summery color. And I'm eating Altoids three at a time in case my breath smells, and wearing 8 different types of perfume, and douching with candy-cane flavored Summer's Eve to cure all those "down there" smells.
But no way am I wearing make-up everyday. That only comes out on special occasions, like for job interviews, or Jim Morrison's birthday.
3 comments:
hmmm, they dont sell candy cane douche here in PA...maybe you could send me a case?
Sara - look around Christmas time, Summer's Eve has many seasonal douches, but don't mistake their Christmas-tree flavor for a bottle of Pinesol.
You could all use some douche. Jeez.
Kidding. I was never enough of a player to get to either one of your vaginas. If only I had game and digging prowess like Josh Baker.
Anyways, don't worry, "Andshewas". I think I may have mentioned my blog in passing, but it's really not there because I am desperate for people to read it. It's really just to get the crazy thoughts out of my head so that I don't kill anybody. You may have noticed, there's really no rhyme and/or reason. But hey, links are cool. I'll give you a link for the 7 people that read my "work".
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