Tuesday, September 16, 2008

These incidentals keep me from blogging! Waaaaaaa!

Is anyone still reading this blog? Well to the 2.5 of you that still are, let it be known that I have not been slacking all this time - in the past week, I have started three blog posts, and I can't find the heart to finish any of them. The first two were about the Palin fracas, which had all my obsession and interest for about 3 minutes last week. The third was about the Wall Street meltdown, but as I was writing it I realized that I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about, and I got all disgusted and flagellated myself with the bath mat.

Oh yeah, and I've also been laying around watching Mad Men. Tres cool show!

Though I'd like to write about a topic that is greatly affecting our nation, I've decided to wait for the next inane piece of "earth-shattering" news to come along - I will mercilessly analyze and dissect that with the rest of the internet. Until then, let us contemplate the fact that I am moving in roughly three months, and I need to decide what of my meager belongings I will either take with me or give to my roommate.

I don't have much, but some of what I have is worth keeping...or is it? An inventory and pointless assessment follows:

My computer: My mom bought this computer for me for $100 at a garage sale, and it is one of the best investments she has ever made. Though I had to replace the monitor a year ago, it is still speedy and serves my needs well. I'm kind of afraid of what my boyfriend's lack of computer skills will do to it after we move in together. I guess I should sit and have a talk with him about the memory-soaking dangers of downloading too much porn.

My Bed: Oh, if you only knew the pain and aggravation I had to go through because of this bed. Gldngirl knows all the petty details - in short, my college boyfriend gave it to me when he graduated because he didn't feel like hauling it back to his hometown (I still had a year of college left). We broke up about two months later. I said he could have the bed; he told me to keep it. A few months later he was calling my cell and stalking me on AIM demanding his bed. I said fine, come and get it; he told me to keep it. Fast-forward a few months, maybe a month before my own college graduation - and the douchebag started leaving me messages again about getting his bed back. At first I protested - who did he think he was? But after several people told me to just give it back, I told my ex, "fine, it's yours. I will haul it out to the stairwell for you to pick up. You won't see me, because I won't be around to see you." With the knowledge that I wouldn't be there for him to harrass and annoy in person, he said,"Naw, consider it a graduation present." And that was the end of that (well, the end of the harrassment over the bed anyways).

My boyfriend hates my bed. Though I have a Queen and his is just a Full, he'll refuse to give his up. I will inevitably toss mine. But this loss is actually a gain - now I'll feel entitled when I hang my Riot Grrls posters on the ceiling above our bed.

The Living Room Rug: This rug is kind of cool in an ugly kind of way. But my roomie's cat has used it as her own personal scratching post/litter box/kitten playground...meh, I'll just spray some Febreeze on it and it'll be good as new!

The Microwave: My bf has a microwave, but you know what? One of the things that my roommate does that INFINITELY pisses me off is the fact that he uses the microwave without a plate. He just tosses his food on the microwave's glass shield as if that was meant for hot dog roasting. Even worse, he doesn't clean the glass plate after using it! Ugh, and then I'll use a plate to warm up some Chinese, and I'll take the steaming noodles back to my bed, set the bowl on my comforter, then realize there is a big greasy stain soaking into my duvet because the grease from whatever my roomie cooked is on the bowl. MAJORLY ANNOYING.

So I'm going to take the microwave and throw it through the windshield of my roomie's car. THAT'LL TEACH HIM. Though this vindication might not feel so great from a jail cell...

Flatware and Silverware: I'll see what my boyfriend has, but if he has enough, the roommate can keep mine. So not worth the time to pack.

The Entertainment Center: I got the entertainment center from my mom, and my mom got it from a lady 8 years ago who was dragging it out to her lawn for the trashman. Verdict: The roommate can keep. Though I might be able to sell it to him by acting like I paid a lot of money for it.

My Air Conditioner: I did not bring my AC with me from Ohio, nor did I buy it while living in New York. It was a housewarming gift from my roommate's father - he bought one for each of us. Am I entitled to keep this? I feel kind of weird taking it, but since my bf only has one, it would be nice to keep...what do the readers think?

You know you've reached a new low when you're seeking advice from the internet.

14 comments:

Business Horse said...

First off, why download porn when it's all over Youtube-esque sites? Really, jacking it to those embedded videos is much better for your computer.

And second...I never knew your life had so much drama.

Anonymous said...

i think you should try and sell the bed on craig's list or at least give it away to some poor college kid.

i also think you should leave the ac. sorry. i know you want to keep it but thats rude.

but i do think you should try and sell the entertainment center to your roomie, esp since he puts his food directly on the microwave plate. or tell him you consider it a trade for the ac. that might make you feel less guilty about taking the ac with you.

AndSheWas said...

Vern - did that post come off as dramatic? I suppose the bed fiasco sounded that way. It was really way more annoying than I let on in this post. Not to mention the calls I kept getting from him the summer after graduation, asking me if I ever missed him. Ugh.

Gldngirl - I was thinking about the AC debacle earlier, and I did decide that it was best for me to leave it, since it was a housewarming gift, not a personal gift. If his dad had bought us drapes, or a television, there's no way I would consider taking those things. But I might take your advice and arrange a trade - the EC for the AC.

Sell the bed? Eh...I couldn't in good concience sell it to someone. There's claw marks from the cat and, er...stains. I'll probably put it on the free board on CL, but even that is such a hassle arranging.

Business Horse said...

Did you miss him, ASW? Not even a little bit? Like, a little piece of you smaller than the piece of me that I exposed to you in the football house?

Caitastrophe said...

re: the bed drama. I had a similar drama when someone I had left a box of clothes at the parents' house of someone I was dating. Went on for a year! ugh.
re: the a/c...apparently I am the only person who thinks you should totally keep it. I am greedy and selfish.
re: microwave. your roommate needs to move into my apartment. it would be the perfect slovenly match. he can take my place. i'll move somewhere nice.

Anonymous said...

you'll have trouble getting rid of the bed... most people (even poor college kids) are weary of bed bugs.

Don't bring anything you're not prepared to give up to the law firm of that's mine/this is yours.

I give this 6mos.

AndSheWas said...

Vern - when you compare it to your love muscle, I guess a pretty big part of me DID miss my ex after college. If you didn't catch what I did there, I'm saying you have a small dick.

Caitlin - I seriously don't think another person could share a household with my roommate besides me. He's not the worst,but he really needs someone who...understands him to live with. If he bunked with any old strangers, they would kill him. He would be dead.

Stalker ex-bf - You give me living with my bf six months? Well please send me your email address so I can let you know in six months how it all goes.

Unknown said...

Too bad you live so far away. I would take your bed in a heart beat. That was the best thing I had in my possession that one Summer. And I'm sure the stains can't be much worse than they already were.

I agree with Gldngirl--try to get some money for this stuff.

Business Horse said...

Hey! People are going to read that and believe it!

AndSheWas said...

Kristine - actually, I think we can arrange a way for you to get this - you want it for reals? We plan on traveling to Ohio for Xmas, so we could always strap it to the bf's truck and bring it to you. It's not in horrible condition, not in the least, but it's something that, if I saw it as a stranger, I would probably pass on.

AndSheWas said...

Vern - considering that your second comment was like the third time in the past few months you have brought up our slutty/weird tryst in the football house, I figure little vern needs to be taken down a few notches. I'm sorry for ruining your chances of boning anyone you met in the comment section of my blog.

Business Horse said...

FUCK. I was planning on giving the business to gldngirl behind a Forest Hills Quizno's.

Unknown said...

vern - as long as you treat me to a turkey bacon guacamole sub afterward, i'm game.

Unknown said...

Quite frankly, if you feel like going through all the hassle of traveling with it, I'll take it.