Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Who do you want to punch in the face?

I've been having trouble drumming up a topic to blog about, and I blame Will Smith for it. It's not the meltdown of Wall Street that has me troubled, it's not the specter of a McCain/Palin presidency that preoccupies my thoughts, it's that bothersome character who was plucked off the streets of Philadelphia and unleashed upon his rich aunt and uncle only to annoy the hell out of them - and me.

All I can think about (seriously, this has been on my mind for the past 4 days) is how much I fucking hate Will Smith's character on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I was watching it late the other night just before I drifted off into sleepy goodness, and it was unbelievable what a punk he was in that show. All I could do was lay there, my lip curled in disgust, and fantasize about punching him in the face.
Don't get me wrong - I like Will Smith just fine, and generally like him in other roles. Though The Pursuit of Happyness made me want to slit my wrists, Will Smith was well-deserving of his Oscar nod for that performance, and Men in Black will always hold a place in my heart on those Saturday afternoons when it's playing on cable and I'm hungover. But hay-zeus, what a mouthy, inappropriate little prick he is on Fresh Prince. If that were my household, his ass would have been in the juvenile delinquency center after the first week.

All this vitriol toward Fresh Prince era Will Smith got me to thinking about other television characters I'd like to punch in the face. Readers of this blog are familiar with my previous lists involving television - I detailed the Television "Friends" You Would Never be Friends with in Real Life, and The Top Six Kids Shows I Had No Right to Be Watching, so I thought maybe I'd do a post listing the Top TV Characters I Want to Punch in the Face. Fresh Prince Will Smith would be number one, with Carrie Bradshaw coming in at a close second...but that's all I got. This shouldn't be hard, television is practically my second mother, I've grown up with all kinds of horrible protagonists who the audience is supposed to relate to, but really all you want to do is shoot a harpoon gun through their eyeball.

Well you know what to do folks - what tv characters do you despise? Try not to make them "bad guy" characters either - you're supposed to hate those characters, they're written explicitly so you have a reason to root for the good guy. It's the loathed "good guys" that I'm looking for.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Will and Grace

"OMG!!! WAS THAT JUST A GAY DOUBLE-ENTENDRE!!!????"

"OMG, I THINK IT WAS, GRACE!!!"

{giggle}

"I'm LIKE SO GAY, GRACE!"

"YOU'RE SUCH A GAY MAN SLUT WILL!!!!"

"WHY WONT I EVER FIND HAPPINESS AS A SUPER RICH SUPER SUCCESSFUL LAWYER, GRACE"

"CAN I BORROW A GAZZILLION DOLLARS, WILL?"

"SURE, WHAT THE HELL, GRACE. YOU'RE BASICALLY MY NON-GAY WIFE"

DOUBLE-ENTENDRE
DOUBLE-ENTENDRE
DOUBLE-ENTENDRE

Caitastrophe said...

I hated Donna Martin and her big horse face when I watched 90210 the first time around. My sister loved her and I didn't get it. And then 2 summers ago I re-watched the whole series start to finish via SOAP network (2 hours every day for 3 months. I am not that committed to ANYTHING). Anyway, then I liked her.

AndSheWas said...

Anon - Will and Grace did cross my mind, since they are so neurotic and, well, anoying. But then I thought if I included them, I'd have to include Karen and Jack too because they are grating characters as well. It seemed like too much to include the entire cast of one show on my characters I'd like to punch list.

Caitlin - I remember nothing about the original 90210. Probably because I was like 7 when it aired. I have to find this SOAP network so I can see what I've missed.

Business Horse said...

I wish I knew the names of some of the characters you acted as in college plays, Marsher. That would be madddd lolzy.

Anonymous said...

Didn't you name the entire cast of friends? And why can't I punch the entire cast of will and grace in the face.

While we're on the subject, I'd punch the entire cast of 'According to Jim' right in the face.

Can't stand that show.

AndSheWas said...

Vern - I'd punch a few of the characters I played in the face, too. Also: How sweet, you saw me in my plays?

Anon - thank you for calling me out on my blatant hypocrisy. I don't know how I will be able to look my future child in the eye.

Business Horse said...

Well, I saw some of your pictures on the Facebooks I believe. I didn't actually see any of your plays, unfortunately. Probably because I'm not gay yet.

Anonymous said...

Mary-Kate, and, or Ashley Olson from Full House

AndSheWas said...

Vern - maybe I'd have given you a beej in college if you'd taken the time to see my plays. Humph!

Anon - Michelle Tanner is a perfect addition to this list. In fact, gldngirl and I used to discuss just how much we hated that selfish little bitch.

Anonymous said...

Elroy P Lobo from BJ and the Bear

Unknown said...

and stephanie tanner!