Aristocrats = Rorschach Test?

So here's something I always wanted to blog about before I had a blog.

About five months ago, I watched an HBO documentary called "The Aristocrats." In short, 'The Aristocrats' is the most disgusting, profane, politically incorrect joke...that a comedian can invent. It's an ad-lib joke, that generally begins like this:

A man goes to see a talent agent, and he tells the agent that he's got a great idea for an act.

The agent says, "Alright, tell me about it."

The man then proceeds to describe the act for the agent, which involves public sex, incest, bodily fluids, murder, and bestiality.

The agent is shocked but intrigued. "What do you call this act of yours?"

"The Aristocrats!"

There were some revolting but hilarious examples of this joke from a wide spectrum of comedians. I'm no comedian, not a good one anyways, but I'm going to take a crack at creating my own 'Aristocrats' joke.

A woman goes in to speak to an agent. She tells the agent, "I have a great act that you're gonna love. We've thought about posting it on youtube, but we'd like a man of your expertise to manage us. It's gonna kill."

"Alright," says the agent. " What's the act?"

"First, I go onstage, and I'm wearing a skin-tight bodysuit made of fruit roll-ups. I do a little dance to get the crowd warmed up, and then comes in my husband, naked, riding a black stallion. He jumps down, I straddle his face, and he starts to eat away at the fruit roll-up covering my snatch. Once he's eaten it away, he starts to go down on me.

"At this point, my son walks on the stage, and walks the stallion over to us, and the stallion starts gnawing away at my tits, eating the body-suit. My son stands under the horse's asshole, and it takes a huge dump on my son's head. Hose in hand, my daughter comes on stage and washes all the shit off of my son, but then she takes the hose, shoves it up her twat, and fills her twat up with water. Once filled, she uses her kegel muscles to shoot the water into my son's gaping mouth, making beautiful arcs with the water that cast glorious rainbows in the stage lights.

"She fills up two more times, shoots water in my mouth and my husband's mouth. After this, my husband and son partake in some mutual masturbation, using the stallion's leftover shit as lube, while my daughter proceeds to eat the rest of my body suit off of me. Then we all take turns sucking off the horse, and when the horse shoots its load, we use it to slip n' slide off the stage onto a bed of rusty razor blades, from which we die bloody and painful deaths."

The agent is shocked but intrigued. "What's the name of this act?" he asks.

"The Aristocrats!"

There's my Aristocrats joke. It could have gone on a lot longer (I could have brought on the grandparents), but it needed to end sometime. In the aforementioned documentary, it was said that Chevy Chase would host 'Aristocrats' parties, during which the host and guests would attempt to invent the longest Aristocrats joke they could ad-lib. It's rumored that one Aristocrats joke lasted for two hours.

But I wonder, is an Aristocrats joke a glimpse into the psyche of the person who invented it? Some of the stuff I ad-libbed (and I really did ad-lib it - all I typed was what popped into my head, with little self-editing) was pretty disgusting.

Of course, that's the point, to be really gross and shocking, but where in the hell did that part with the water and the kegel muscles come from? (I'm asking myself, naturally.) That's not a joke I keep in my back pocket, it just came to me and I went with it.

If I over-analyze and over-reach, I can reason that the kegel part is ACTUALLY my homage to sprinklers, because I loved running through the sprinkler as a kid, and I was always fascinated by the fleeting rainbows they would cast in the summer sun. Aww, childhood!

Now that I'm reading my joke again, that all makes PERFECT sense. I talk about slip n' sliding too!

Anyone want to share their own Aristocrats joke? I.e. CHALLENGE ME? I know I have no readers, but maybe someone will see this a year down the road and get the urge.