Tuesday, April 22, 2008

So last night I took Ecstasy for the first time...

Excuse me if this post isn't full of my usual witty observations and clever jokes, but I am not totally with it today, since I spent all of last night rolling on Ecstasy.

It was about 9:30 pm. I was on the internet, reading blogs and stalking people on Facebook. My boyfriend sat down next to me and started talking. As anyone obsessed with the Internet knows, you generally do not pay attention to your loved ones when you are engrossed in a riveting blog post about ass-crack hair, but when he casually asked if I wanted to drop some Ecstasy, I was intrigued.

Or incredulous. "On a Monday night?" I asked. "Shouldn't we wait until Saturday?"

He laid out his reasoning for taking it on this particular Monday night. I had planned to only work half a day on Tuesday, and if we took it at that very moment, we would be done rolling by 4:30 and asleep soon thereafter. But I was hesitant. "We'll just take half a pill each," he suggested.

That seemed reasonable. We each took a half, and 40 minutes later, his pupils were the size of saucers and he was feeling good; I was feeling nothing.

"Maybe I'm immune," I mused. "Maybe I'm not a mere mortal, therefore your human drugs can not affect me."

"Maybe we should take another one, a full pill each," he said.

If you're keeping track, that would make it 1.5 pills for each of us. I don't know why I agreed to it - maybe that half was starting to kick in - but I shrugged and said "sure."

I waited. My boyfriend was feeling the E full-throttle. He kept touching me and rubbing my body, but I was definitely not into it. I tried, really, I started making out with him and mimicking his behavior, but all I wanted to do was roll over and fall asleep. "Sorry," I said.

He didn't mind. He left the room to go to the bathroom, and I was left to my own devices. It was somewhere during this time, alone on his bed, that I started to feel something. It's hard to explain - I didn't feel particularly good - but something was taking over my body.

Whoa, I'm back. I started this post at around 7:30 pm yesterday, and right after I finished the last paragraph, I had to lie down because I was so exhausted. Side note: my recuperation from taking the Ecstasy required at least 20 hours of sleep. No joke.

Ok, so I'm starting to feel something, and my boyfriend comes back in the room and he looks at my eyes. "Your pupils are huge!" he says. I looked in the mirror, and it was true - though the E had taken quite a bit longer to affect me, it was clear that I was no deity afterall; I was rolling.

What followed afterward was a lot of feeling good, and that's all I can say. It felt like what I expected pot to feel like before I ever smoked pot - warm and happy and loving everything. At one point, while I was on my way to peaking, I asked my bf if he had anymore. "A pill and a half," he said. "Should we take it?"

"Yeah, fuck it," I replied. I knew I needed to be awake and ready the next day, since I had a 12:15 doctor's appointment, but I will tell you one thing about this drug: you don't ever want to come down while you're high. Often times when I smoke pot, it will get to a point when I'm tired of being high, and I'll just fall asleep. But not with Ecstasy.

So we each took a half and a quarter - that brings us up to 2.25 pills each.

Another thing about this drug: you're completely lucid. Even though I was already high, I knew taking the other pill and a quarter was not a smart idea, especially for my first time, but I was so afraid that the high was going to end that I wanted to preserve it any way I could.

So in the early stages of our rolling, there was a lot of body rubbing and telling each other that we loved each other and professing every good thing we had ever felt about each other, and then we started peaking...and all we could do was lie there. No talking, no touching, just in our own heads and feeling good. I could barely move. And I wasn't scared.

The most screwed up in the head I have ever been was when I was seventeen. It was after my dad's wedding to my stepmom, and my sister, all my stepcousins, some friends, and I went back to my dad's house, since the house was devoid of parental supervision for the night. We all sat around and played Quarters with Jim Beam, and then we proceeded to take hits off of a gravity bong. Shortly thereafter, stoned and drunk, I stumbled onto the couch and laid down, completely wacked out of my mind. I didn't know where I was - I didn't even know I was awake - until some little voice in my head told me that everything I was experiencing wasn't a dream, that indeed I was majorly fucked up. I was scared and freaking out, and I only got back in touch with reality when my gag reflex started to go off and I became best friends with the toilet for the night.

Being high on E was kind of like that in that I was definitely wacked out, but I wasn't scared, not for a second. I guess I just rode the snake, or whatever, just went with the flow.

At about 5 am I started to come down, but I knew there was no way I'd make it to my appointment or work the next day. Every time I attempted to move from the bed the following morning, my pupils were so dilated that the light would cause my vision to go black and I'd have to lay back down. After three failed tries to get up and function, I decided the best thing to do was to sleep until I could move. And that's what I did - I slept until 6 pm. And then took another nap at 8:30 pm. I woke up from the nap at 12:15, and then fell asleep from 2 to 9 am the next morning.

I am recommending E above any other drug I have ever done - pot, coke, shrooms. But if you're a first-timer, here's some advice:

1. Do not take more than 1 pill. In fact, do not have more on hand than enough for everyone taking it to have one. If you have more lying around while you're rolling, you're going to want to take more, and THEN you'll be so high that you can't move, like I was.

2. Do it with someone you're comfortable with, like a boyfriend or girlfriend. Do it with someone you trust. If I had done E with anyone but my boyfriend, it wouldn't have been nearly as much fun.

3. Make sure you don't have to do anything the next day. Maybe if you only take one pill, you won't feel the rough after-effects I did, but still, do it on a day where the next day you won't be required to be a functioning member of society.

4. There's a lot of stuff I didn't go into, mainly because it's kind of private and, um, I can't remember everything completely, but do whatever feels good, and DON'T DO whatever feels bad. Listen to your gut, because even though you'll be high, you will know what is ok and what's not.

5. Stay inside. After rolling, I don't know how all of those club kids can dance and whip glowsticks around while high. I certainly couldn't have, so I'm recommending you don't leave the house or apartment.

So there's my story, and all that I have to impart. I don't know if I'll ever do this drug again - as a writer and a glutton for experience, I felt kind of required to take it at least once - but it was really a good time overall.

9 comments:

emack said...

im thinking about doing e soon and hopefully you can help me out. so are you in touch with reality at all? can you grasp whats going around you, or are you completley zoned out like more of a mushroom or acid trip. im notplanning to do it at a party or with alot ofpeople, im just doing it when my parents go awayone week and having my brother watch me. for example, if i was rolling, would i be able to at least pull it together and attempt to look somehwat sober, or are you all over the place, looking like an intoxicated mess?

Anonymous said...

K quick ex guide.

You are in touch with reality and what is happening.

If you are doing it alone make sure you have someone you trust to watch over you for a few reasons.

1. You need to stay hydrated
2. not too hydrated tho as you can through off your salt equilibrium and cause issues: Sip water dont chug.

While you are peaking it will be apparent. You will be sweaty and your face will scream bliss. Not only that but your pupils will be enlarged.

any other questions please leave your email and i will send you more info.

Also have a lul fun turning down the lights and playing with a glow stick or led. and keep some vicks nose sticks handy for a very unique cooling experience.

Chelsie said...

i took it two nights ago and i just felt really drunk until my ex found out and started tweaking and got me. i felt so uncomfertable where i was i just wanted to go back. before i took it i had two shots and six beers. so i dont think it worked

Anonymous said...

Its just xtc, not like mushrooms or acid your still in touch with reality but theres no chance of having a bad trip on e 1st time start with 1. its not that intence but you never know what your buying these days most x is laced with speed and meth and coke and other things that are bad for you try to buy some that someone you know has already tried. But I would rather do mushrooms or acid anyway, because you trip out e doesn't really trip you out, and plus mdma is toxic alone even if the e is not laced with anything. sure shrooms give you food poisoning but its not toxic like e, I would advise trying mushrooms before acid because zid is like 10X shrooms, but lots of people have bad trips on shrooms, and never had one on acid. But yeah Im a newfi so mushrooms Pot and beer is my drug of choice.

Anonymous said...

ecstasy is preferably one of the great wonders of my life. I love the affects that it gives me until today. I actually started thinking of some weird really weird shit that not many people would qualify as a functioning normal teen. I honestly felt like I knew everything and nothing at the same time and still knew that fact when I was thinking it. Most of the time I was in a room full of ppl who were arguing because they were drunk but this did not affect my high because I am an avid stupid ecstasy user. I know you may have doubts about me being a true e head. But you can only assume based on what you read here. Honestly I would give my email out if it meant something more to me but it doesn't. I just feel that the e I purchased was laced with some kind of psychoactive drug that drove me to insanityville for a while. Sometimes after the continuous use of ecstasy the level of dopamine will decrease and may lead to mental problems. I see this happening in my friend's girlfriends life as of today. She feels dislocated from the world and feels the need to reiterate love in her own terms which means nothing and she possibly knows that because I've realized the things ex can make you do. the drugs that are used in the process of making ecstasy is not known to virtually anyone except the person who actually makes it in labs or other places. I'm honestly telling you the truth I feel like I can never go without ecstasy in my life because I found something so irrevocably awesome. I know that may sound weird but why do we do drugs when we know the FACTS of the side effects that can be the sole reason we end up crazy or have any kind of "thing" that is linked to our highs. Which is why people who do not do drugs cannot comprehend but simply understand the reason why we do drugs. Its because something or someone or whatever compels us to do it. Often looking for advice on the internet like I did before I took e 2 years ago and found my true love in pill form. I was unable to find any true things that I can hold value of on the internet and Im trying to tell all of you individuals who feel like taking E. DO NOT it is better to not understand the reasons why we continue to do this besides the fact that our very lives are at stake. I know I may sound weird and played out cause of things you hear about the drugs but most of it is true. I'm telling you this isn't the way to live I speak from my heart, whatever that is now, whatever we may believe in is simply changed once we get into drugs. I do not believe that this will have any effect on all of you but I can hope that it does change one of your minds because of the fact that I'm sitting here considerably annoyed at the fact that i'm glowing from the cool down from e and cannot sleep and feel the compulsion to tell people even if you guys never come back here but I need to get some kind of grief off my chest by letting other know and trying to prevent it from happening. i know that at one point in our lives we may stop to think about crazy shit that may actually lead us to becoming crazy. yeah crazy shit happens in this world you hear about them all the time right? does that mean that your are feeling no specific emotions to those that are not related to you? no it simply means that we have built an immunity to the people of our own race. & i may sound incoherent and stupid or hold something of a hidden agenda but I assure you that it is the grief of knowing something that I cannot come to end in my existence. I will always cherish the highs i get from ecstasy especially since I've gotten pretty immune to the drug too taking about 5 in one go which is soo much money, look up the facts they have on ecstasy and try and change your mind because it will mess with your perspective on life. just like how it messed with mine the first time and the last time, I took it.

Anonymous said...

Here's suggestion: DON'T DO DRUGS.

Anonymous said...

I related to all the experiences you listed in your blog. It was almost disturbing how similar our experience of trying E for the first time were. However, I don't really understand why you would recommend it. When I was rolling, I wanted to have more and I knew that wasn't a good idea, but I still wanted more. That makes this drug somewhat dangerous right? No matter the amount, still desiring more. I can't say I am proud I tried E and it is obvious that drugs destroy peoples' lives. At least, (from what it sounds like) my experience wasn't "out of the ordinary." Wish you the best, but I would say everyone should stay away from this drug.

Anonymous said...

I tried Ecstacy (Pure Molly) for the first time a few days ago. I was reluctant and asked every question in the book until I finally took it. I am an avid weed smoker and until then weed has been the only drug I've ever done. My experience with X was a good, clean one but its not something I'd do again. Mainly because you can never really trust what your ingesting and once you take it there's no turning back. Unlike weed, where you can actually see and inspect and stop smoking if you become uncomfortable. My trip was not very intense, but very satifying all the same. It wasn't what I was expecting at all.. The come up was very plesant, I felt like my spirits were lifted. My perspective on life and almost everything was more compassionate and understanding. It makes you very talkative because you have a greater understanding of yourself and your feelings. It makes you VERY open and comfortable with yourself. The comedown was also clean but extremely exhausting with little bouts of sadness/depression.. It takes a lot of sleep to get your body back to its normal state, but it changes your perspective forever.

Anonymous said...

You always know whats happening and you talk like a normal person.But every freaking thing you do gives you %200 peace,happiness,pleasure and your mind is always calm.You are confident and you can rule the world.It was the best thing i've ever consumed in my entire life.