I hate to gross out any of my male readers (wait a second - I love doing that), but I need to ask a question: Does anyone ever get random shooting pains in their vagina?
Some could argue that this is an urgent medical question that needs to be addressed immediaetly, so that's why I'm asking you guys (with no health insurance, you beyotches literally are my best form of medical advice).
Just now I was wasting away in my computer chair, watching a little Sex: The Revolution, when the triton of Satan forked its way into my birth canal. I shot straight up in my chair, let out an audible, "yow," and waited three-to-four seconds for the crippling pain to pass.
Since I know you're all worried - I'm fine. Don't be such worry-warts! (Worts?) But this isn't the first time this has ever happened to me. From time to time, I'd say every few weeks, said twat-twinges befall me. I haven't ridden a bike recently, nor douched with Drano, nor had sex with John Holmes's stand-in. So what is the cause of these unwarranted pussy-pangs? Am I the only one afflicted? I really need the ladies to speak up on this.
And do dudes get random, shooting, debilitating pains in their nether-regions as well?
No answers based in fact are required - any hogwash, old wives explanation you've got is welcomed!
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3 comments:
I think Sara Roberts and Vern are the only ones who read this.
And no, my wang does not just start hurting for no reason.
Maybe it's all of the sin that is surely trapped in your vag.
i do get shooting pains in my vagina as well, and they happen just as you have described. i figure its god punishing me for all the indiscriminate sex i had in college, and you know what? Im okay with that.
Vern - I know for a fact that you two aren't the only ones who read this blog. But you are the only ones who comment - thanks for that!
And I actually think the pains have something to do with my period, which I conveniently started at about 1 am last night. TMI?
Sara - Glad to know it's not just me! I'm going to send out a facebook message to every girl I am friends with and ask them. Good idea?
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